Stupid Pin Sunday

…Slash Monday. Better late than never, right?

SONDRA’S PICK:

star

Ow. Please don’t get this much of your ear cut out. Also it’s probably only going to keep its star shape for about 2 years.

KATIE’S PICK:

fitness_sps

Ok, whatever to the quote. It’s fine. But my problem is that I can hardly even focus on reading the “motivational message” when this girl’s massive wedgie is staring me in the face. Seriously, that cannot be a comfortable workout outfit. Also, (mini rant related to typography) the line spacing is all wrong.

TESSA’S PICK

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Cheesecake. Guacamole. Beer. Ice cream. Lasagna. Sweet potato fries. Chocolate chip cookies. Curry. Butter popcorn. Butter in general. Gumbo. Dark chocolate truffles. Deep dish pizza. Pad Thai. Bagels with cream cheese. Banana Pancakes. Nachos. Macaroni and cheese. Pumpkin muffins. Lo Mein. Monster cookies. Pesto. Sea salted caramel. Peanut butter. Cinnamon rolls. Pot stickers. Ravioli. Grilled cheese. Brownies. Gnocchi. Tacos. Hot fudge sundays. Corn chowder. Cream cheese wontons. Mashed potatoes. Root beer floats. Whipped cream. Rhubarb Pie. Stuffed mushrooms. Granola. Eggs Benedict. Soft pretzels. Sushi. Mojitos. Egg rolls. Stuffed french toast. Red velvet cake. Chips and salsa. Things on a stick.

 

Why I don’t swim in lakes.

Here’s the thing – I don’t swim in lakes. Ever. It has probably been 8-10 years since I have swam in a lake. This fear comes directly from the amount of snakes I saw in lakes when I went fishing with my dad when I was little. There are other reasons I don’t swim in lakes, but snakes are the primary one. Now, if you want to go boating, canoeing, tubing, jet skiing, or any activity ON the water, I’m your girl. But don’t think I’m going to get in that water.

Yesterday I got in the water. I was at the beautiful Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis, and decided it couldn’t hurt to put aside my fear and wade into the water. (Note: I was still not about to swim, but I would wade.) I suddenly felt something sharp on the heel of my foot. Unable to transfer my weight, I felt the object push further into my heel. Lifting my foot out of the water I discovered the object was a syringe needle (A SYRINGE NEEDLE) so I immediately pulled it out of my foot and got out of the water.

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At this point in the story I’d like to point out the (hopefully) obvious fact that the first time I stepped in a lake in nearly a DECADE I got stabbed with a giant, possibly infected NEEDLE. How’s that for luck?

One tetanus shot, 2 hours in the doctor’s office, and a filled prescription of penicillin later and I decided that staying out of lake water was always and will always be the best option.

-Sondra

Throwback Thursday

This Throwback Thursday commemorates fall of our sophomore year of college; a time when, as hard as it may be to believe, we may have been even cooler than we are now.

Here’s the back story: we had some friends going to the zombie pub crawl. We were just underaged children at the time, so we were in charge of doing their zombie makeup and being safe and responsible drivers. After we had dropped off the actual pub crawlers, the temptation of the zombie makeup and fake blood sitting back at their apartment was too much to resist. The result was this video.

**On a slightly more exciting and grown up note, Callie, who is the fourth star of this video and who Tessa had the joy of getting to live with for two years, got ENGAGED last week. Shout out to the bride to be and her handsome fiancé. We’d also like to apologize to John for being weird influences on his beautiful future wife.

Back to School Fashion

If you were to ask others what word best describes me, I would guess the first word out of 97% of their mouths would be “fashionable”. While no one has ever told me this to my face (jealous much?), I can only assume that my gray sweatshirt I wear on a bi-weekly basis and the jeans that I wear everyday with the ambiguous stain and broken zipper are taken as a purposeful stab at modern materialism and are admired by my peers. Also, I switch up my three pairs of shoes frequently enough to keep people on their toes (punz).

Anyway, I’ve decided that it’s just not fair for me to keep all my fashion -related knowledge to myself, especially when we all want to dress to impress this school year. As a senior in college, I’ve taken it upon myself to show the lower class men how it’s done. Listen up, freshies.

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This classic deerskin beauty is for those of us who want to be classy and outdoorsy at the same time. Worn barefoot, it screams “I build my own lean-tos and also haven’t brushed my teeth in four years”. Be careful with this one, ladies. Jacob (the werewolf, obvi) will be all over you as soon as you don this one.

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For those of you attending a private school, Uggs are a must. These are my absolute favorite though, because they are covered in pearls. I added diamonds as well, but feel free to have your tailor stitch in rubies. A little color never hurt anyone. A little warning: if you use fake pearls, all the popular girls will smell dollar store from a mile away..and good luck getting into the jamming parties after that!

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These are an absolute must. I am personally a fan of anything that looks like a wild animal swallowed both a stripper and a fairy and threw it up into the shape of a stiletto, so these are right up my ally.

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Finally, and this is important, DON’T BE AFRAID OF ANIMAL PRINT. The more, the better, Mix, match, dye your skin leopard print; I love it all. If there is one style that says “low-maintenance and ready to chill”, it’s animal print. Extra points if it is the skin of an actual animal.**

**No animals were harmed in the making of this blog

-Tessa

Stupid Pin Sunday

It’s that time of the week again people. I hope you look forward to this as much as we do. By “you”, it’s now clear we mean the Manor Girls. Starting off with a bang:

Tessa’s Pick

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I’m a huge fan of writing inspirational things over powerful photographs (i.e. “Love is the understanding silence in a world of noise” in cursive over a generic picture of the ocean). In this same category is the new trend of bucket lists written over pretty pictures. Some say things like “Release a lantern into the night” or “Marry my best friend”. I’m pretty partial to this one though. Who doesn’t want to spend a weekend hitting up the sights of France with the girlz? And, more importantly, what girl doesn’t consider Adolf one of her bffs?

I wish I could say that the young lady who posted this was just playin’ (who doesn’t love a little flippant Hitler humor?), as I assume the the picture’s creator was. Unfortunately, this particular pinner must have misunderstood the flippant intentions, as was obvious in her caption “Before I die ❤ ❤ <3” posted between “Take his last name” and “Have a glitter fight”.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Sondra’s Pick

forever18

From a board called “Tattoo Ideas”. Is this suppose to make me want to get this tattoo??

Katie’s Pick

marryme

I would hope that it’s obvious why this is stupid, but apparently it isn’t, as the previous pinner’s caption on this was “EPIC PROPOSAL!” No. It’s Not. Here’s why:

It’s a text message.

And also it’s dumb because this is not how a conversation would go. If my non-existent significant other texted me and asked me what order him and I and two people names Mary and Will would sit in, I would not start guessing. I would say “Who the heck are Mary and Will?”

And also the fact that it’s a marriage proposal via text message. Not ok.

Sexy Brunch

This past Sunday was the first ever occurrence of a now weekly event we have dubbed Sexy Brunch. Now before I explain Sexy Brunch, I will outline the thought process that led us to Sexy Brunch…

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“We should have friends over for dinner sometime soon” —> “Instead of cooking food for everyone we should have a potluck!” —> “Back To School Potluck!” —> “That’s too long to wait, let’s have one next week” —> “POTLUCK BRUNCH?!” —> “Since we’ll be eating breakfast food we can wear pajamas, right?” —> *Manor gals show up in dresses lookin’ cute* —> *Katie and Sondra are forced to change out of their pajamas* —> “Sexy Brunch!”

So as you can gather from the above process, the ‘sexy’ aspect of Sexy Brunch basically just means ‘no pajamas.’ It also means drinking Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s, which can also be pretty sexy.

Now some of you may be confused by my reference to the ‘Manor gals’ as they were not defined in our original Guide to Sexplex Living, so here is the definition:

Manor Gals – Our only friends.

Now that that’s covered, here’s an overview of the first ever Sexy Brunch…

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Food: Zucchini Bread, Strawberry/Yogurt/Granola Parfait, and Fried Egg, Spinach, Marinara, and Cheese on Naan

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Drinks: Pomegranate Blueberry Juice, Coffee, and Orange Juice

Sexy Highlights: We wore dresses, Taylor unbuttoned the top button on her shirt, I think that’s it…?

Un-Sexy Highlights: Nobody had showered, A large portion of our breakfast conversation involved poop, Taylor spilled food on her previously unbuttoned shirt thus eliminating the sexy factor

Maybe we should start calling this Un-Sexy Brunch…

Amen to that.

Yesterday was an especially optimistic day on the internet, as I ran across several videos with happy messages that I thought I would share with you.

First we have Ashton Kutcher, looking especially Iowan, as he uses his speech at the Teen Choice Awards as an opportunity to tell them the stuff they need to hear, which I think is pretty cool.


Next we have late night talk show host Craig Ferguson using his opening monologue to tell people that growing up isn’t a bad thing!


Yay for celebrities using their positions to spread good messages! Very Emma-Stone-and-Andrew-Garfield of them, no?

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Last we have Jessica. Let’s all start our morning out like this from now on – yelling in the mirror about what we’re thankful for and what we like about ourselves.

-Sondra

Stupid Pin Sunday

To make the end of the weekend a little less sad, we’ve decided to make Sundays our official day to let you all in on our new hobby: mocking people and feeling superior. Don’t get us wrong…we love Pinterest; but we have noticed a common theme in the extensive amount of time we’ve spent pinning. People pin stupid things. Because of this realization, we started a secret board called “These things are really, really stupid” (Shout out to Emma and Taylor, the other active contributors to the board).

From now on, we will be sharing the dumbest of the dumb on this blog on Sundays, just so the human race doesn’t get too cocky about how smart and evolved we are.

SONDRA’S PICK

buttcookies

Yes, those are what you think they are. Butt cookies.

Your reaction – Yes, it is kind of weird, and most people don’t want to eat a cookie that looks like a butt, but there are situations in which they would be appropriate such as a gag gift or at a bachelorette party.

My response – 1. Please do not serve these at MY bachelorette party. 2. They were pinned from the website cuteforkids.com. As in CHILDREN. When did thong wearing cookies become cute for kids?!

KATIE’S PICK

HP

Here’s the thing, I love most anything Harry Potter related. I even have a board on Pinterest dedicated solely to HP things. But something I don’t love is spelling errors, especially on a pin, because if you’re going to take the time to create a pin to put on Pinterest, I would think you’d take the time to spell check the FOUR WORDS on it. And also, I assume anyone creating a pin referencing HP is a fan of the books, so WHY do they not know how to spell SLYTHERIN????? Ugh.

Ps – I really hope I spelled everything right in this mini rant, because hypocrisy is another violation that’ll get someone added to my list…

TESSA’S PICK

Marry him.

Ok ladies, let’s talk for a minute about something called “standards”.  Maybe mine are too high, but I like to think that pausing a video game will not be a selling point to commit myself to spending the rest of my life with someone.

Plus, have you ever paused SmashBros in the middle of Kirby doing a body slam? You’re welcome, future husband, for giving you the opportunity to see that madness.

The very first post of our very first blog.

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Chances are you are not reading this blog on purpose. Maybe you were googling hot dish recipes and mistook our blog for an opportunity to add a little flavor to your typically bland Minnesotan mealtime. Or maybe you’re actually one of our friends who thinks we are hilarious and interesting (shout out to all two of you).  Either way, we would like to welcome you to your new favorite webpage. This blog is an opportunity for you to get your fill of things we think are funny, things we think are stupid, and of course, cats.

Since we are going to be best friends from now on, we’d like to give you an introduction into our fabulous lives. The following is a glossary of terms/names that you will need to know in order to keep up with our fast paced world:

Banksy: Banksy is our cat. Two of us (Sondra and Tessa), do not consider themselves “cat people”, but Banksy is more than a cat…he’s our fourth roommate. He is also a gay male who is tragically in love with a neighborhood squirrel (forbidden love, since Banksy is technically an indoor cat). He’s not the smartest little kitten on the block, but the kid’s got spunk. He’s also British (probably).

The Wilder Sexplex: This is what the people call our home. By the people, I mean just us mostly. The reason is not that we have wild love lives, as you might assume by the previous paragraph, but that we live on Wilder Street and there are six apartments in our complex.

Katie: Lover of all catz except the cat next door.

Sondra: Says things and makes things, sometimes at the same time.

Tessa: Says things to be ironic and then forgets to stop saying those things. YOLO.

Now that you’ve realized that the hole in your hearts can be filled with stories about our cat, we can’t wait for you to obsessively check our blogs for new posts.

Goodnight from the sexplex!

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