This summer I was sitting at work one day when I found out Beyonce was in town. I decided to look up ticket prices and have a good chuckle at how outrageous they were. Instead I found a single ticket for a price that was outrageous in the cheap way. I’m going to clue you in on the secret to going to a Beyonce concert for less than 5 million dollars.
1. Decide you’re going two hours before the concert starts.
2. Buy a single ticket. Venues feel bad about the fact that you have no friends.
That’s a lie. Actually people don’t want single seats because they want to go see Beyonce with their girlfrans after drinking some cocktails and watching Sex & The City!!!
All my friends were out of town and I prefer craft beer and cooking shows.
Anyway, I love Beyonce. We all do. If you say you don’t you’re lying to yourself so drop the act and get on the Queen B party bus because you’re late and you don’t want to miss this. I highly recommend going to a show because it is the greatest performance you will ever see in your life (too far?). In case you don’t though I’ve included this link to a Buzzfeed which is a pretty accurate depiction of what the experience is like. Some are a little much even for me (see #9), but some are totally accurate (see #18).
So school started and priorities were confused at the Sexplex. We got confused and started thinking that we should put academics, jobs, and internships over the good of the Internet world. I’m sorry we abandoned you, readers.
As a little welcome back gift to you all, I’d like to fill you all in on all the madness that has happened in the past month.
- Fall happened. Today I had pumpkin pancakes on three different occasions and am currently drinking a pumpkin beer. Minnesota weather must think it’s still summer though, because I keep trying to wear sweaters and I keep getting sweaty.
- Sondra had a birthday (week) and we got wild on a roof in uptown…aka we went for dinner and they gave us free cotton candy. I was in bed by 10.
- Two important advancements were made in the arts community: Miley Cyrus learned how to swing naked from a wrecking ball and the song “What Does a Fox Say?” was introduced to the youtube world. Music will never be the same.
- We pretended to be really into school spirit and went all out for a school football game with a big rivalry. We may have lost the game, but we learned one important lesson that day: how to day drink.
- My final month of marathon training will come to an end this Sunday when I will either die or crawl across the finish line after 26.2 miles. Today I iced my knees with a bottle of vodka and I’ve smelled like Bengay for the past three weeks if that’s any indication of how well this weekend will be going for me.
- In a dramatic turn of events, the Sexplex bathroom flooded from a cracked pipe under the sink. Luckily, Mr. Bob Clements (father of the only girl who sings “Wrecking Ball” better than Miley herself) saved the day with his step-by-step instructions of how to turn off the water for the building. My apologies to anyone in our apartment building who was in the middle of a shower.
I hope it’s clear now why we were too busy to keep the World Wide Web entertained. You’re welcome, Jenna Marbles and Buzzfeed, for increasing your traffic due to our absence.
Happy birthday month roomski.