A (somewhat random) post about my love for Beyonce.

This summer I was sitting at work one day when I found out Beyonce was in town. I decided to look up ticket prices and have a good chuckle at how outrageous they were. Instead I found a single ticket for a price that was outrageous in the cheap way. I’m going to clue you in on the secret to going to a Beyonce concert for less than 5 million dollars.
1. Decide you’re going two hours before the concert starts.
2. Buy a single ticket. Venues feel bad about the fact that you have no friends.
That’s a lie. Actually people don’t want single seats because they want to go see Beyonce with their girlfrans after drinking some cocktails and watching Sex & The City!!!
All my friends were out of town and I prefer craft beer and cooking shows.

Anyway, I love Beyonce. We all do. If you say you don’t you’re lying to yourself so drop the act and get on the Queen B party bus because you’re late and you don’t want to miss this. I highly recommend going to a show because it is the greatest performance you will ever see in your life (too far?). In case you don’t though I’ve included this link to a Buzzfeed which is a pretty accurate depiction of what the experience is like. Some are a little much even for me (see #9), but some are totally accurate (see #18).

-Sondra

Sorry Guyz

So school started and priorities were confused at the Sexplex. We got confused and started thinking that we should put academics, jobs, and internships over the good of the Internet world. I’m sorry we abandoned you, readers.

As a little welcome back gift to you all, I’d like to fill you all in on all the madness that has happened in the past month.

1. Fall happened. Today I had pumpkin pancakes on three different occasions and am currently drinking a pumpkin beer. Minnesota weather must think it’s still summer though, because I keep trying to wear sweaters and I keep getting sweaty.
2. Sondra had a birthday (week) and we got wild on a roof in uptown…aka we went for dinner and they gave us free cotton candy. I was in bed by 10.
3. Two important advancements were made in the arts community: Miley Cyrus learned how to swing naked from a wrecking ball and the song “What Does a Fox Say?” was introduced to the youtube world. Music will never be the same.
4. We pretended to be really into school spirit and went all out for a school football game with a big rivalry. We may have lost the game, but we learned one important lesson that day: how to day drink.
5. My final month of marathon training will come to an end this Sunday when I will either die or crawl across the finish line after 26.2 miles. Today I iced my knees with a bottle of vodka and I’ve smelled like Bengay for the past three weeks if that’s any indication of how well this weekend will be going for me.
6. In a dramatic turn of events, the Sexplex bathroom flooded from a cracked pipe under the sink. Luckily, Mr. Bob Clements (father of the only girl who sings “Wrecking Ball” better than Miley herself) saved the day with his step-by-step instructions of how to turn off the water for the building. My apologies to anyone in our apartment building who was in the middle of a shower.

I hope it’s clear now why we were too busy to keep the World Wide Web entertained. You’re welcome, Jenna Marbles and Buzzfeed, for increasing your traffic due to our absence.

Tessa

Happy birthday month roomski.

Woman Crush Wednesday

I know what you’re thinking. For a blog about three girls and a cat there has been a shockingly low amount of posts about cats. No worries. We’re on it.

Banksy is a special cat. And not in the way all people think their pets are special. Everyone who meets Banksy agrees that he’s special. Even dog people end up liking Banksy.

One of our favorite things about Banksy is his dramatic nature. He is the ultimate drama queen. For example, when he sits in front of the refrigerator door and you gently open it to slide him out of the way he lays sprawled out on the floor as if you just knocked him over in an extremely violent manner and continues to lay there until you leave the room. The same act is displayed when you gently nudge him with your foot.

In the following video Banksy displays his most dramatic show to date. On Halloween of last year we purchased a pet costume to put on Banksy for 5 minutes and immediately take it back off. (We promise we aren’t cruel to animals.) Banksy was not having it and, being the drama queen that he is, wasn’t discreet about showing his discomfort. We quickly got some video (and the following picture) before relieving him of his “pain”.

Note: The outfit fit him perfectly and he was quite capable of moving his limbs. Any lack of limb motion was simply to prove a point to his owners.

This is the face of pure joy.

Stupid Pin Sunday

On Monday, again.

SONDRA’S PICK

How are you supposed to hold the baby? Is it supposed to face you? Will people think you are have a second head and found somebody to design shirts for you? Do you have to undress every time you need to put the baby down? Did no one ask these questions before this was created?

TESSA’S PICK

I just threw up a little when I read this and remembered IT’S 2013.

 

KATIE’S PICK

 

This is just one of many “insightful” quotes I see floating around on Pinterest that someone obviously just made up and it ended up getting repinned by several people who thought it sounded legit, but didn’t really think about it. In regards to this particular quote, let’s just think for a moment about the legitimacy. 90% of conflict is due to the wrong tone of voice. Just think about it. War. Keep thinking about it. Does this make sense? No.

Stupid Pin Sunday

…Slash Monday. Better late than never, right?

SONDRA’S PICK:

Ow. Please don’t get this much of your ear cut out. Also it’s probably only going to keep its star shape for about 2 years.

KATIE’S PICK:

Ok, whatever to the quote. It’s fine. But my problem is that I can hardly even focus on reading the “motivational message” when this girl’s massive wedgie is staring me in the face. Seriously, that cannot be a comfortable workout outfit. Also, (mini rant related to typography) the line spacing is all wrong.

TESSA’S PICK

 

Cheesecake. Guacamole. Beer. Ice cream. Lasagna. Sweet potato fries. Chocolate chip cookies. Curry. Butter popcorn. Butter in general. Gumbo. Dark chocolate truffles. Deep dish pizza. Pad Thai. Bagels with cream cheese. Banana Pancakes. Nachos. Macaroni and cheese. Pumpkin muffins. Lo Mein. Monster cookies. Pesto. Sea salted caramel. Peanut butter. Cinnamon rolls. Pot stickers. Ravioli. Grilled cheese. Brownies. Gnocchi. Tacos. Hot fudge sundays. Corn chowder. Cream cheese wontons. Mashed potatoes. Root beer floats. Whipped cream. Rhubarb Pie. Stuffed mushrooms. Granola. Eggs Benedict. Soft pretzels. Sushi. Mojitos. Egg rolls. Stuffed french toast. Red velvet cake. Chips and salsa. Things on a stick.

 

Why I don’t swim in lakes.

Here’s the thing – I don’t swim in lakes. Ever. It has probably been 8-10 years since I have swam in a lake. This fear comes directly from the amount of snakes I saw in lakes when I went fishing with my dad when I was little. There are other reasons I don’t swim in lakes, but snakes are the primary one. Now, if you want to go boating, canoeing, tubing, jet skiing, or any activity ON the water, I’m your girl. But don’t think I’m going to get in that water.

Yesterday I got in the water. I was at the beautiful Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis, and decided it couldn’t hurt to put aside my fear and wade into the water. (Note: I was still not about to swim, but I would wade.) I suddenly felt something sharp on the heel of my foot. Unable to transfer my weight, I felt the object push further into my heel. Lifting my foot out of the water I discovered the object was a syringe needle (A SYRINGE NEEDLE) so I immediately pulled it out of my foot and got out of the water.

At this point in the story I’d like to point out the (hopefully) obvious fact that the first time I stepped in a lake in nearly a DECADE I got stabbed with a giant, possibly infected NEEDLE. How’s that for luck?

One tetanus shot, 2 hours in the doctor’s office, and a filled prescription of penicillin later and I decided that staying out of lake water was always and will always be the best option.

-Sondra

Throwback Thursday

This Throwback Thursday commemorates fall of our sophomore year of college; a time when, as hard as it may be to believe, we may have been even cooler than we are now.

Here’s the back story: we had some friends going to the zombie pub crawl. We were just underaged children at the time, so we were in charge of doing their zombie makeup and being safe and responsible drivers. After we had dropped off the actual pub crawlers, the temptation of the zombie makeup and fake blood sitting back at their apartment was too much to resist. The result was this video.

**On a slightly more exciting and grown up note, Callie, who is the fourth star of this video and who Tessa had the joy of getting to live with for two years, got ENGAGED last week. Shout out to the bride to be and her handsome fiancé. We’d also like to apologize to John for being weird influences on his beautiful future wife.

Back to School Fashion

If you were to ask others what word best describes me, I would guess the first word out of 97% of their mouths would be “fashionable”. While no one has ever told me this to my face (jealous much?), I can only assume that my gray sweatshirt I wear on a bi-weekly basis and the jeans that I wear everyday with the ambiguous stain and broken zipper are taken as a purposeful stab at modern materialism and are admired by my peers. Also, I switch up my three pairs of shoes frequently enough to keep people on their toes (punz).

Anyway, I’ve decided that it’s just not fair for me to keep all my fashion -related knowledge to myself, especially when we all want to dress to impress this school year. As a senior in college, I’ve taken it upon myself to show the lower class men how it’s done. Listen up, freshies.

This classic deerskin beauty is for those of us who want to be classy and outdoorsy at the same time. Worn barefoot, it screams “I build my own lean-tos and also haven’t brushed my teeth in four years”. Be careful with this one, ladies. Jacob (the werewolf, obvi) will be all over you as soon as you don this one.

For those of you attending a private school, Uggs are a must. These are my absolute favorite though, because they are covered in pearls. I added diamonds as well, but feel free to have your tailor stitch in rubies. A little color never hurt anyone. A little warning: if you use fake pearls, all the popular girls will smell dollar store from a mile away..and good luck getting into the jamming parties after that!

These are an absolute must. I am personally a fan of anything that looks like a wild animal swallowed both a stripper and a fairy and threw it up into the shape of a stiletto, so these are right up my ally.

Finally, and this is important, DON’T BE AFRAID OF ANIMAL PRINT. The more, the better, Mix, match, dye your skin leopard print; I love it all. If there is one style that says “low-maintenance and ready to chill”, it’s animal print. Extra points if it is the skin of an actual animal.**

**No animals were harmed in the making of this blog

-Tessa

Stupid Pin Sunday

It’s that time of the week again people. I hope you look forward to this as much as we do. By “you”, it’s now clear we mean the Manor Girls. Starting off with a bang:

Tessa’s Pick

I’m a huge fan of writing inspirational things over powerful photographs (i.e. “Love is the understanding silence in a world of noise” in cursive over a generic picture of the ocean). In this same category is the new trend of bucket lists written over pretty pictures. Some say things like “Release a lantern into the night” or “Marry my best friend”. I’m pretty partial to this one though. Who doesn’t want to spend a weekend hitting up the sights of France with the girlz? And, more importantly, what girl doesn’t consider Adolf one of her bffs?

I wish I could say that the young lady who posted this was just playin’ (who doesn’t love a little flippant Hitler humor?), as I assume the the picture’s creator was. Unfortunately, this particular pinner must have misunderstood the flippant intentions, as was obvious in her caption “Before I die ❤ ❤ <3” posted between “Take his last name” and “Have a glitter fight”.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Sondra’s Pick

From a board called “Tattoo Ideas”. Is this suppose to make me want to get this tattoo??

Katie’s Pick

I would hope that it’s obvious why this is stupid, but apparently it isn’t, as the previous pinner’s caption on this was “EPIC PROPOSAL!” No. It’s Not. Here’s why:

It’s a text message.

And also it’s dumb because this is not how a conversation would go. If my non-existent significant other texted me and asked me what order him and I and two people names Mary and Will would sit in, I would not start guessing. I would say “Who the heck are Mary and Will?”

And also the fact that it’s a marriage proposal via text message. Not ok.

Sexy Brunch

This past Sunday was the first ever occurrence of a now weekly event we have dubbed Sexy Brunch. Now before I explain Sexy Brunch, I will outline the thought process that led us to Sexy Brunch…

“We should have friends over for dinner sometime soon” —> “Instead of cooking food for everyone we should have a potluck!” —> “Back To School Potluck!” —> “That’s too long to wait, let’s have one next week” —> “POTLUCK BRUNCH?!” —> “Since we’ll be eating breakfast food we can wear pajamas, right?” —> *Manor gals show up in dresses lookin’ cute* —> *Katie and Sondra are forced to change out of their pajamas* —> “Sexy Brunch!”

So as you can gather from the above process, the ‘sexy’ aspect of Sexy Brunch basically just means ‘no pajamas.’ It also means drinking Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s, which can also be pretty sexy.

Now some of you may be confused by my reference to the ‘Manor gals’ as they were not defined in our original Guide to Sexplex Living, so here is the definition:

Manor Gals – Our only friends.

Now that that’s covered, here’s an overview of the first ever Sexy Brunch…

Food: Zucchini Bread, Strawberry/Yogurt/Granola Parfait, and Fried Egg, Spinach, Marinara, and Cheese on Naan

Drinks: Pomegranate Blueberry Juice, Coffee, and Orange Juice

Sexy Highlights: We wore dresses, Taylor unbuttoned the top button on her shirt, I think that’s it…?

Un-Sexy Highlights: Nobody had showered, A large portion of our breakfast conversation involved poop, Taylor spilled food on her previously unbuttoned shirt thus eliminating the sexy factor

Maybe we should start calling this Un-Sexy Brunch…